Feminism and 'Rhetorical Force'

I had a friend try to explain to me yesterday that women – especially ‘feminist’ women – have suffered so much from sexism that they are justified in using extreme levels of ‘rhetorical force’ in responding to people who question their claims (see, for example, this piece from Jezebel). Here’s a very simple point that feminists and other fundamentalists need to consider: when you defend a point of view by acting like an absurdly arrogant, irrational, violent, etc. ignoramus, the rhetorical force of such behaviour is to establish the following fact: that it is absurdly arrogant, ignorant, etc. people who defend that point of view. So it seems that either (1) you’re actually proud to be an absurdly arrogant ignoramus, in which case you’d do yourself and the rest of the world a favour if you’d just shut up; or (2) you really hate feminism (or whatever pseudo-sophisticated ideology you feign to embrace), in which case, please be honest about that; or (3) your ideology actually includes the doctrine that it's cool to be stupid, rude, violent, or whatever, in which case, really? - don't you think it might be worth checking out some alternative ways of thinking about who you are and what you are meant to be?